On a recent train journey I got chatting to the lady sitting next to me (let’s call her Caroline). Caroline had recently established an HR consultancy. I asked how it was going and she replied that she was finding it hard to win new clients. Caroline was passionate about HR and came across as confident and engaging so I asked if she was getting much work from local networking events. ‘Ugh, no I hate networking’ she replied. She looked surprised when I responded ‘but, we’re networking now and you’re great at it!’
Caroline is not alone with a recent Linked In poll revealing that over 50% of us believe we loathe networking or only do it because we have to. Studies also show that women are less likely to network than men with the lack of female representation at property networking events being a driver for the formation of Women In Residential Property.
Networking has many benefits from providing access to fresh perspectives to aiding career progression to forming new friendships. Less appreciated is the role networking can play in giving greater prominence to the collective female voice. Simply put if men continue to outnumber women at events our views are less likely to be heard and industry events will continue to perpetuate a misogynist culture.
In an ideal world it would not be this way – our opinions and expertise would be recognised and actively sought out irrespective of our profile but, the world is not ideal so I hope my simple advice will encourage even the most reluctant of networkers to give it a go.
Top Tips
- You can do it because you do, do it every day! Most of us perform at least one element of networking every day – we say hello to someone at the school gate or we share a restaurant recommendation with a colleague. If you’ve done this, you’re a third of the way to networking success – all that’s left to do is ask a question and follow it up to develop the relationship.
- Networking doesn’t only happen in noisy rooms full of strangers. Say hello to a colleague you’ve never spoken to before; get four people together for a coffee or, arrange a ‘bring a colleague’ online meetup to discuss something topical.
- Confidence helps but successful networkers are rarely the ones who talk the most. The ability to listen and remember what’s being discussed is more important than having the gift of the gab.
- The aim of networking is to develop great quality relationships. It is not about collecting new contacts like some of us collect pairs of shoes. You haven’t failed if you go to an event and only meet one new person as long as you make that new connection count.
- Forget the elevator pitch – yes it’s useful if you can briefly explain what you do but opening a conversation with an elevator pitch is unnatural and can kill a conversation.
- Have some questions prepared in advance to help you get through the first few minutes of meeting someone new. I’m terrible at small talk so I try to develop questions that relate to an industry news story or, if there’s a guest speaker at the event something that’s relevant to the topic they are discussing. Ask open ended questions to keep the conversation flowing.
- Networking is only really effective if you develop the relationship after the initial meeting. Building trust is an important component of networking so if you committed to do something for someone you’ve met networking, don’t forget to do it. If you’ve discussed a follow up meeting, then ask for it and proactively suggest dates in your follow up mail. If you don’t feel ready to ask for a meeting but would like to remain memorable, try sending the person something relevant to the discussion you had – a news story, a research paper or an introduction.
- Sharing is caring – developing a relationship is all about give and take. If someone shares something with you or volunteers their help, thank them and remember to share something with them when the time is right.
- What happens if they ghost you? It happens and it’s rarely to do with you. People are busy; messages go astray; life takes over. Don’t worry and keep going.
How is Caroline getting on with her networking? After we met I introduced Caroline to a business that needs support with training delivery. A week later Caroline introduced me to someone who needs some Coaching and, we’re all getting together for a festive glass of wine.
And the title of the article…. I attended my first networking event around 25 years ago. I spent most of the evening hiding in the loos.
hello@emmavigus.co.uk
Take a small step:
- Take 15 minutes out to listen to “If networking makes you feel gross, you’re doing it wrong” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1A7Y4hEAz0
- Contact me to reserve a place on my online training course on networking or, to book one to one training or in-person group training. I’m offering a 25% discount on all training booked by readers of this newsletter with tickets for online training priced at £40 per person.
- Organise your first networking event – ring a friend who works in a local business and suggest that you meet for a coffee. Each of you should take someone else you know.
